BAYWATCH!

Last week I went to an “open call” for actors in Los Angeles for the soon to be newly revised remake of the classic early nineteen nineties, sexy bathing suit inspired drama, Baywatch. If you aren’t in the entertainment business and not familiar with an “open call” it is basically a free for all, anyone can show up in desperate need, type of situation. Like an Open House for a a property for sale except this cost no money which in turn usually attracts many types who have no money! I don’t say that to shit on the open call process. RUDY is one of my favorite movies and absolutely love that is based on a real life guy who was somehow miraculously discovered at an open tryout for a professional football team. But..like most of the other coaches and that teams peers there was the question of “WHY?” Why do you need to hold an open tryout for football players when we can easily recruit from A List Colleges and why in Hollywood would we need to invitee every clown off the street to audition when we live in a city run by professional directors, casting agents, and actors?

I don’t have the answer. Most likely never will. But as in most bewildering situations in my adult life, I have learned, sometimes forced myself to “just go with it.” Stop trying to control everything Jen!

But back to the day at hand. The Open Call. I was very reluctant to it in the beginning. I was first approached about this opportunity by a fellow comedian friend who is a bit older than me and identifies as male! He said “It will be fun!”

Well I could always use some fun and new adventure being that ever since the untimely conversion of post Covid reluctance and my fiftieth birthday, I am still way too comfortable my couch! In hindsight I realize I likely just fell into being a naive idiot once again and he probably just wanted a safe non-threatening vagina next to him for this soon to be thong wearing double d parade of wanna be Pam Andersons! I was once again duped by a male.

Unfortunately for him, this so called OPEN MIC actually required that we register online first AND submit a picture with some personal info. I’m not sure what he wrote, probably something along the lines of “I’m fifty-six and single but I swear I’m not creepy!!” Male comics- or just males- I have found, are in general pretty simple in explanation.

I figured I didn’t have much of a shot anyway and wrote the most honest reason I could think of for taking part in this, which resulted in “It’s 2026 and you should probably have a funny Senior Lifeguard in the cast!”

Maybe that worked. Or maybe I just got lucky. My male friend did not get invited to the audition, but I did! Suddenly a day I so dreaded started to spark hope in my mind. Maybe they DO need a funny lifeguard with a high waisted boy shorts style bathing suit wrinkly knees! It’s comical, yet inspiring how quickly the brain can fabricate an air of delusion in order to enforce adrenaline and hope for the future! It’s what keeps me going I times of hopelessness I guess.

When the day came, still feeling ridiculous to enter a situation I knew would most likely be solely based on a visual appearance. Feeling frumpy and insecure, reluctant to expose this menopause belly, I put on a two piece bathing suit and drove to the Marriott Hotel in Marina Del Rey where I entered a line to be number 721 to audition. Mind you, it was only 11am and they were auditioning till 8pm! Within the first three minutes upon arrival I saw enough twenty year old tight skin to make me run back to my car and head straight back home to my safe space. But being that I am now close to my fifty second year of continuous life learning, I stayed. Cause as I learned from the great hockey legend Wayne Gretzky, You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.

And so I stayed. And I auditioned. And to my surprise, I loved it. Because I did it. The outcome didn’t, or doesn’t matter. It is what happened in the moment. Sitting with hundreds of young women and men just coming into their prime. Not only beautiful, but still socially accepted for being at an age to “pursue your dreams.” I sat next to them and instead of feeling shameful or out of place, I felt lucky that I still believe in myself, whether it be delusional or not, to pursue the daily, at times obstacles, that fulfill me.

I thought about editing this pic cause of my neck wrinkles, but then thought, in a forest- these rugged marks on an ancient tree would signify wisdom and resilience!

xoxo