FOOT FETISH

Those sweet sweet feets…..

Their endurance is so under appreciated.

We spend so much of our waking hours placing such immense focus on the care and well-being of so many other parts of the body.

Facials. Massages. Haircuts. Hand jobs. But does anyone ever consider the needs of the poor bottom feeders that singlehandedly, gravitationally keep all these other parts afloat? The most abused and overworked vein filled, flesh muscled tendons, littlest teenie weenie toe bones- even in sleep they sometimes don’t get no repose- rustling and rifling in a claustrophobic (unless you have regularly employed paid help) barely washed bed covers.

Sometimes late at night when I am lonely, usually those nights when the TV is on less for entertainment and more solely to combat the somewhat compromised single lady loneliness, I catch a glimpse of my legs spread out in front of me- as my eyes scroll down my bare legs, stopping only for a moment to admire these very worked and deserving calves  before landing on my two boney, seemingly over-veined foots and ten perky little toes- looking so alive and hopeful!

How do they do it?

The journey they have been through. The years- DECADES- of not just casual strolls, but intense hard pounding runs. The nights caught and suffocated in shoes no empathetic human should expect a fragile body part to endure. The many occasions being recklessly slammed against misplaced or unrecognized hard furniture corners. I’d like to blame it on late dark nights, but I’m so ditzy it happens just as often in the peakiest sunshine hours of daylight as well.

And forget about the fate of ending up in a long-term relationship with someone who has a foot/ toe fetish!
Now these poor little foot fingers have to work the late-night shift as well?
And if you are confused by how toes possibly work their way into a sexual encounter- I’m afraid you will need to do that research on your own.

And don’t forget about the verbal abuse- people who believe feet are gross- some say ugly. So rude. These hard working micro muscles holding up your multi carb Pizza, Dorito, Chicken Wing filled body.

And why is it that the part of the anatomy taking the most weight is also the most demure?? Nature can be so cruel.

If you consult a foot expert, or any member of a holistic healing community/ Eastern medicine/ Instagram expert…they will tell you that the bottom of the feet are essentially the gateway to all emotions and ailments. They say there are small areas on the bottom of the feet for with a direct line to every other part of the body. Which is why it makes complete sense that two of my ten toenails have completely given up. That may sound alarming to some, But two out of ten is a WIN in my book. After fifty years and only two have given up? Forget the Dodgers, These are some desperately deserving of celebration Champions. I’d say give them a parade as well but that would just require more foot generated activity, which at this point just feels like unnecessary and uncalled for abuse.

I have one big toenail that refuses to grow back- I assumed it was just an age thing, as I often find it hard to look at any senior citizens toes without thinking – They literally have -if not one foot- at least three toes- in the grave!.

I make light, but to be completely honest- my big toes hurt. And that makes me feel old. Not as old as the phone calls I keep getting from my doctor about getting tested for Osteoporosis. But a different kind of old. The old that makes me physically walk different in an effort to minimize the toe to shoe contact. Although living in L.A. I am used to this gentle stepping as I spend a good majority of my time evading the many unknown excrements that litter our sidewalks.

Maybe my feet as a whole have just retired.
According to my mom I started walking at 9 months! I chose to be an overachiever at a time when it financially did me absolutely no good!
Maybe I wore myself out- peaked too early?
What did I possibly think I was going to accomplish at that age?
Taking out the trash at best!

I WAS always motivated to make allowance money to go to 7-11
I’ve been enthralled by convenience stores ever since I made / inherited my first dime to spend in them.

So do something nice for your feet today! Soak them in a warm tub. Give them a little rub. Maybe a little tickle. Tell them you love them…

And then become a paid subscriber to my Substack!! Cause much like the bottom of your foot- I need some extra care and attention as well!